Catharsis

 Catharsis: "The purification and purgation of emotions through art or any extreme change in emotion that results in renewal and restoration." As in: "that was cathartic.

{Somehow, this is cathartic.  Purging out some of the excess words in my head/heart.  I think it's reassuring that it's going out to no one in particular, but there's also the tantalising idea that it could reach someone.}

This morning I've been chewing on how life is made and shaped by so many tiny decisions.  Of course there are big ones... but the devil is in the detail of the minute decisions.  I don't know about you, but I personally can get very stuck in running through the little decisions I've made one by one and examining them from all angles.  Even though what's done is done, I struggle to leave it there.  It's done.  There is absolutely nothing I can do to change it.  The ONLY thing I can change is this little decision that is here right now.  I do not know why this is so very challenging for me.  Why do I go back and touch all those little past decisions?  I'm pretty sure that if changing the past were possible I would have gone back and messed with everything!  Walking the paths of life is an extreme exercise in trust.  I either trust God is writing the story and all those little decisions are things he sees, knows and uses to the outcome of good for me ultimately, or I don't.  On any given day you will find me a solid mix of belief and unbelief.  Hence the cry, "Lord, I believe!  Help my unbelief."