It's December 10th. Essentially 14 days until Christmas. And while I'm breathing out about being on the other side of Alex's Stem Cell transplant, the dreaded mountain I didn't want to have to climb, I'm also grieving. In a season of intensity like the one we've been navigating there are so many small losses that I've been stacking off to the side with the knowledge that I'm gonna need to grieve all those... later. Is this later? It doesn't feel like it, but some of them are demanding to be felt, to be heard and to be grieved.
Can I be honest? It's work I don't really look forward to. Grieving is hard. There's the kind of grief that sweeps in, knocks you off your feet and demands all your attention and then there's small griefs that are quieter, but no less valid in their need to be addressed. These can go unattended for a lifetime honestly. When put off to the side, like I've been doing, they stack and ferment wreaking havoc at some later date if not addressed soon.
So, I guess I need to roll up my emotional sleeves and get to work. ugh.
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